Change, Pain and Metamorphosis #MotivationMonday

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So true! If you want to change, you'll have to go through some pain before you can go through metamorphosis and grow wings.

There’s this show on Netflix called Beat Bugs. My kids love it because it’s geared towards their age group. I love it because I’m in awe that I lived to see a day in which the rights to Beatles songs are distributed so liberally.

Every episode, the bug crew meets a challenge that a Beatles’ song helps them conquer. In a recent episode we viewed, the bugs put on a birthday party for their caterpillar friend. She was feeling ill, and it bummed everyone out.

She pulled herself back to her home, lamenting the fact that she could no longer enjoy the things that once brought her happiness. Despite wanting to enjoy the party with her friends, something inside of her just didn’t feel right. It was painful and depressing.

She wraps herself up to rest in her chrysalis, feeling alone and tormented.

When her friends come to find her, she busts out of her chrysalis as a butterfly. Those growing pains and dis-ease that she felt were necessary parts of the process of her development into something new and beautiful.

She loves being able to fly. She can look at everything around her with new perspective, appreciating all the beauty the world has to offer in new and exhilarating ways.

Change, Pain and Age

When I was young, change was something I looked forward to. Not knowing what was next was an exciting concept that allowed for adventure and discovery.

Somewhere along the way, change became something I no longer embraced with open arms. Maybe it’s because I had children. Maybe it’s because I realized my own mortality.

Maybe it’s simply something that happens as you age.

Regardless of the cause, I, like most people, became that caterpillar who didn’t like the feeling of discomfort before crawling into my chrysalis. In fact, the prospect of the pain scared me so immensely that I’d avoid crawling into it at all.

It’s silly, of course, because the pain persists as long as you resist necessary change. It’s the fear that prolongs the process and prevents you from becoming a butterfly. From seeing the world anew. From finding new paths to stability and empowerment. From becoming this beautiful creature that can freaking fly.


Accepting the new-found pain that accompanies change in my life has been difficult. But it’s something I’m learning I must face with bravery and courage in order to grow wings.

This can happen in an array of different areas in our lives. Maybe you have a ton of debt to pay off, but you know confronting the realities of your finances is going to be overwhelming and depressing, so you ignore it, digging yourself in deeper all the while. If you just accepted the pain of looking your money problems in the face, you’d be able to do the work to get to a point where your situation was better.

Maybe you’re in a toxic relationship, but still love the person. We had a reader contribute her story on this very topic a few months ago, and making painful decisions was the first step in getting her life back to a happier place.

Maybe you need to push yourself outside of your comfort zone in order to grow in your career. The initial feelings of inadequacy are anxiety-producing, but without confronting them it’s improbable that you’ll gain the new skills and network that you need in order to progress.

[Tweet “Sitting in the same place is the path of least resistance, but it doesn’t lead to happiness.”]

Sitting in the same place is the path of least resistance, but it doesn’t necessarily lead to happiness. Feel the pain. Feel the suffering. Know that those feelings will eventually pass, and that your new wings await you on the other side.

Music to Help You Cope with Change

In case you’re curious, this is the song they integrated into that Beat Bugs episode. They removed the bits that referenced death and implied sexual relationships because their target audience is about four years old:

While I do love In My Life more than words can say, a song that helps me get happier when I’m facing down the fear that comes with change is this one:

Have you every battled fear before making a major change in your life? How did you overcome it?

This isn’t the first time I’ve found inspiration from a kids’ show. Jus’ sayin’.


14 thoughts on “Change, Pain and Metamorphosis #MotivationMonday

  1. Amanda @ centsiblyrich

    Love this! It’s hard to deal with change, but you describe the process in a beautiful way.

    The biggest changes for me lately involve my children growing into young adults. Their newfound independence is challenging at times and I sometimes dream of the days when they were little and I could hold them in my arms. But, I appreciate the incredible young adults they are becoming. The hardest thing is seeing even the minor struggles that come with transitioning into adulthood.

    1. femmefrugality Post author

      I can’t even imagine! I’m sometimes sad that mine aren’t babies anymore. (Sometimes.) The transition to adulthood definitely comes with pains, but I think you’re doing an awesome job, Mama!

  2. Tonya@Budget and the Beach

    I live in that weird place between often feeling restless about the standard or norm, but also being fearful of change. It’s a wacky place to be. I do think one step is to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Change rarely occurs without at least a little bit of that happening.

    1. femmefrugality Post author

      Agreed. Living in that place of ambiguity is a life lesson I never thought of when I was going through the list of things I’d need to master as an adult. But it’s a big one.

  3. Done by Forty

    Love the post. Fear of change is definitely at the root of a lot of my problems. I’m complacent, I like routine, and get really pissed sometimes if anyone messes with the way I’m used to things going. And that’s just the little stuff.

    The cynic in me thinks that real change only happens when the pain of the same exceeds the pain of change. While that’s probably true a lot of the time, there are just too many examples of people embracing the big moment, sans threat of pain. Don’t know exactly what’s headed your way, but here’s to hoping the change is a great one.

    1. femmefrugality Post author

      I think the cynic in you is right. Not 100% of the time, I suppose, but definitely most of the time. And thank you!!!

    1. femmefrugality Post author

      Amen! Still so proud of you for everything you’ve done in the past year—some major changes and hard decisions. But all for the better.

  4. Linda at Brooklyn Bread

    I need to find this show – it sounds amazing! I am the absolute worst with change. It terrifies me and saddens me and this has probably caused untold blockages in my life. Of course, the only answer is to embrace it. But it is so hard. And you are right, especially after you have children watching them grow, realizing how short childhood is and how that transformation just barrels at you…

    1. femmefrugality Post author

      Netflix, baby!

      Yes, the kids do have something to do with it, I think. I know life is moving in slow motion from their perspective, while I feel like someone is holding down my fast forward button. If I feel like I’m taking a long time to make positive change, how big of an impact does that have on them with their perception of time?

  5. May

    Wanted to stop by and wish you happy holidays and new year and here’s to positive changes in 2017. Can’t wait to get my new wings. 🙂

  6. Pingback: Gifts That Give Back | Femme Frugality

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