During one of my pregnancies, I had an obsession. It was watching, “Say Yes to the Dress.” Not just watching. Binge watching. My husband, then boyfriend, asked me, “Is this your not so subtle hint that you want to get married?”
Why, yes. Yes, in fact, it was.
In keeping with tradition with watching reality TV shows to propel my life goals, I’ve been watching a lot of HGTV-esque stuff lately. I’ll admit it: on the nights where I have time, I’ve been binge watching. I’ve learned as much as you possibly can from staged, addictive TV shows. Or at least as much as I possibly can. Here are some of the things I’ve gleaned:
- I’d only ever want to buy a foreclosure if I had mad liquid capital at my disposal.
- You don’t get everything you want out of a house. Pretty much ever. Unless you go way over budget. (Which some people do.)
- Some people literally won’t buy a house because of the living room’s paint color.
- There are people out there who buy homes planning to live in them for less than five years. I don’t know the dynamics of each and every housing market they’re shopping in, but this always shocks me. They’ll be paying almost all interest and building almost zero equity.
- You can get a four bedroom mini mansion in the Houston area for under $300k. I need to learn more about Houston’s local economy and maybe schedule a visit to check it out. (Just kidding. We’ll never leave the Burgh. Darn if that’s not tempting, though.)
The other night, there was one woman who just about killed me. She was arguing with her husband over the budget. He didn’t want to go over no matter what. Then they cut to her talking with the camera, and she seriously said this:
“I understand the budget’s important. But at the same time, I don’t want to not get everything we want just because we can’t afford it.”
WHHHHAAAATTT? There were so many things I wanted to say to this woman. Like:
- YOU CAN’T AFFORD IT. Just because you want it doesn’t mean you can have it. What led to you thinking like this? Were you spoiled as a child? Are you delusional?
- You are the reason our economy collapsed. Case in point. You. People like you took out loans for houses they couldn’t afford because they really wanted them. Then they couldn’t pay their mortgage. Then the housing bubble burst. Then our economy fell. Then tons of people lost their jobs. In this post-Great Recession world, I don’t understand how you could allow yourself to be filmed with that garbage coming out of your mouth, even if it’s running in your internal monologue.
- If you really want to buy the perfect house and it’s out of your budget, maybe you need to save up a little longer.
- Please tell me this is something they told you to say?
The story has a pseudo happy ending. The husband convinced her to buy a house within their budget. Because it was the option that would make the dogs the happiest. If it were me, I would have chosen the house that was within the budget that made me as a human the happiest since I’d be the one paying that sucker off for 30 years. But to each their own.
The episode that immediately followed was a single guy buying a four bedroom mini mansion in Houston. For himself. And that’s it. Presumably he could afford it, and he cited the reason for wanting such an expanse as having room to grow.
Kudos to him for thinking long-term?
At that point I had to turn it off. I think I may be done with reality TV for a while. At least until I set another life goal.