I Have No Money: Leaving an Abusive Relationship

This post may contain affiliate links. For more details, please view our full disclosure.

Domestic violence is a very real issue for many in this country. While it does affect both sexes, there is a bigger chance you will experience it if you are a woman.

Your odds of exposure will be greater depending on your sexual identity or orientation, household income, and race, according to the CDC:

Grants and resources for women leaving an abusive relationship

 

But let’s face it: when you’ve experienced that fear in your own home, the numbers don’t matter. What matters is that very visceral experience. It’s personal. It’s terrifying. And all too often, it feels like you can never get out.

A major reason women feel like they can’t escape is that they don’t know how they will manage their finances on their own. Maybe you’re in a one-income household where your partner brings in the money. Maybe your partner simply controls the money, or you don’t make enough on your own wages to support your children and start anew.

There are many reasons for not leaving. To say money is the only one would be naive. But since this blog primarily concerns itself with finances, we’re going to explore ways to solve the money problem today for partners who want to escape their abusive relationships. These are resources, but I’d highly encourage you to reach out to a counselor before finalizing any big plans. As mentioned, these situations are nuanced and dangerous.

If money is the thing holding you back, here are some solutions to that part of the puzzle:

Leaving an Abusive Relationship When You Have No Money

Sure, you could hustle. Sure, you could try to find a job and daycare if you have kids.

But immediately following your departure, you need to be focusing on keeping yourself (and your children if you have any) safe. There’s a lot that goes into that, and it interferes with pulling in extra cash.

Shelters and non-profits across the country recognize that. In fact, they have funds set aside to help you out through the transition. Check out the below resources for funding opportunities.

And remember, it’s not shameful to get help. You’re leaving a bad situation for a better tomorrow. It’s scary. The obstacles are real. Others recognize this. It’s why the money exists. Use it.

National Resources

State Resources

While they may not all have funds or grants to give you directly, get in touch with your state’s coalition against domestic violence. They can point you to state-run resources and other local organizations that may be able to lend a financial hand. You can find a full list for all 50 states here.

Local Resources

Many women’s shelters also provide grants for things like housing, education or even just cash financial needs. If you don’t know of a women’s shelter in your area, get in touch with the state coalition listed above or the National Domestic Violence Hotline. They’ll be able to point you in the right direction.

There is help.

Leaving is difficult. It’s complex. It has potential health and safety concerns. But if money is the thing holding you back, know that there are resources available. You can get out if you’re willing to reach out.

I’m rooting for you.

 

 

Related Content

medicaid domestic abuse

Applying for Health Insurance as Domestic Violence Survivor

As a domestic violence survivor, you qualify for a special enrollment period at any time of year thanks to the ACA. Apply on the marketplace today.

domestic violence advocate

The Intersection of Islamophobia and Domestic Violence

Nour Naas shares her important story and perspective on domestic violence and how marginalized groups face additional barriers when it comes to reporting.

supreme court

Economic Effects of Sexual Assault: A Case Study via Dr. Ford

What can we learn about the economic plight of sexual assault and domestic violence survivors from Dr. Ford's testimony? As it turns out, a lot.

Domestic abuse can take many forms, including child abuse and economica abuse. This is Dr. Burke's story of overcoming identity theft as a survivor.

Economic Abuse: Silent Epidemic of Abused Children

Survivors of childhood abuse encounter unique challenges, even in the realm of economic abuse. Read Dr. Kenisha Burke's story of overcoming identity theft.

The Silver Lining Behind My Debt

There is a lot of stigma around debt. There is a lot of stigma around domestic abuse. But debt is a useful tool that can help you become a survivor.

8 Signs You May Be in an Abusive Relationship

Many abuse victims don't realize their relationship is unhealthy until it is too late. Here are red flags to watch for from a domestic violence survivor.

LGBTQ+ Intimate Partner Violence

Unique Economic Obstacles for LGBTQ+ IPV Survivors

While intimate partner violence happens at a comparable rate in the LGBTQ+ community, survivors face additional financial barriers.

long term effects of ptsd

The Long-Term Financial Effects of PTSD

PTSD affects combat veterans and survivors of domestic abuse alike. Learn what it can do to your finances, and what you can do about it.

Getting Help: LGBTQ+ Domestic Violence Survivors

Domestic violence does happen in the LGBTQ+ community. Here's how to get help if you need it, and how society can better help survivors.

You could be the victim of financial abuse even if you're the primary breadwinner.

Financial Abuse: My Partner Nearly Drained Me Dry

Financial abuse doesn't just happen when a partner tries to limit your income; it can also happen when they try to take over the money you're bringing in.

8 Ways to Help Loved Ones in Abusive Relationships

Having a friend or family member who is in an abusive relationship is hard. This article gives you tips to help from a domestic violence survivor.

Feeling trapped in a relationship because of money

What is Financial Abuse?

Financial abuse is something many go through, but not all recognize it even as it's happening. Read on to learn how to identify this type of abuse.

Here's where you can find money to leave an abusive relationship.

I Have No Money: Leaving an Abusive Relationship

Leaving an abusive relationship is difficult, complex and nuanced. One major hurdle is finances. Lessen that problem with these resources and grants.

Share this post!

8 thoughts on “I Have No Money: Leaving an Abusive Relationship

  1. Done by Forty

    Thanks so much for writing this post and sharing some resources & encouragement for those who might be in an abusive relationship. Like you said, safety is the number one concern…but it’s good to know there are resources out there to help on the financial side.

    1. femmefrugality

      Absolutely. If money is your only issue with leaving then hopefully this helps, but I’d call either the national hotline or the state coalition if there are any concerns beyond that, which there are in most cases. Need a full plan, and money is just part of it. Doesn’t always have to be a prohibitive part of it in certain cases, though.

  2. Prudence Debtfree

    “it’s not shameful to get help” – A huge obstacle that many face. What an important topic. Thank you for posting this. Great message. Practical information. “The obstacles are real. Others recognize this. It’s why the money exists. Use it.” Yes, yes, and yes.

    1. Femme Frugality

      It’s so hard… No one wants to feel like a charity case. I feel like there’s so much focus on individualism and bootstraps our society that it really shames people who need to reach out. And it shouldn’t. It takes a lot of bravery; those who do deserve admiration.

  3. Amanda @ centsiblyrich

    I love this post. Thank you so much for writing about this important issue. I used to (and sometimes still do) teach self-defense/safety classes to teens. Domestic violence is a big part of the discussion – when I tell the story about how abuse creeps in and develops in a relationship, I see recognition in more faces than you can imagine. Some have spoken about friends in abusive relationships. It’s an issue many face alone, but it’s so important to get help and help is available. Money can be a big obstacle – the information in your post is invaluable!

  4. Pingback: What is Financial Abuse? | Femme Frugality

  5. Pingback: 8 Ways to Help Loved Ones in Abusive Relationships | Femme Frugality

  6. Pingback: Things to be thankful for - Partners in Fire

Comments are closed.