We are not particularly religious people.  Okay, we’re not religious at all.  We try our best to be spiritual, good people.  Just not in an organized, Sunday-church-going type of way.  So a church marriage was just not “us.”  We’ll just be getting married at our reception site by a family member who is ordained.

But let’s say we weren’t lucky enough to have that option.  It would be super weird and inconvenient to pay a religious leader we didn’t know or really even support to officiate our vows.  Or what if we were atheist and didn’t want to go to the Justice of the Peace?  Or get married on a boat or by a mayor?

Pennsylvania can be pretty cool.

Luckily, we live in the great state of Pennsylvania, where reverent, God-fearing people have accidentally paved the way for modern-day heathens.  (At least I’m sure that’s how the 1700s group would view us.)  Quakers played a huge role in the foundation of this state.  One of the many laws that reflects that is self-uniting marriage.  Because they traditionally have no clergy, when Quakers marry they don’t have an officiant, as it’s God marrying  them, not any man.

This is why for all of its history Pennsylvania has allowed self-uniting marriages.  So if you want to just write your own vows, you can.  And skip the clergy fee.  (Just make sure you have two witnesses.) I think it could be kind of beautiful.  (Though I’m happy with our decision to have our family member involved; it means a lot to us.)

When you go in to get your license, be sure to mention right off the bat that you want a self-uniting marriage.  Do your research before you apply.  Some clerks might be jerks and refuse to give it to you.  If you do get a jerk clerk, you really could, and I’d argue should, throw this ACLU case in their face.

Essentially what happened was that Allegheny county asked a couple if they were Quakers. They said no.  So they refused to give them the license.

Let me recap:  they asked them their religion, and because of their answer, refused them a government service.  Allegheny county screwed up royally.  So from what I understand they are now much more accommodating to couples who want to take the self-uniting route.

I also understand that they do not charge a fee for this service.  This is not true in all counties.  Philadelphia county charges $90 in addition to the fee just to apply and get a normal license.  Which may start to get close to the fee an officiant would charge, making this a budget wash. UPDATE:  A reader was recently issued a self-uniting marriage license in Philadelphia county.  Contrary to how it is presented on their website, the fee for that county is only an additional $10, making the entire affair $90 TOTAL.

If you live near a county other than the one you live in, try giving them a call to see what their fees (and jerk levels) are.  In Pennsylvania, it doesn’t matter if your license is issued by a county other than the one you live in or the one you will be married in.  As long as it comes from PA and you get married in PA, you’re good.

Planning a wedding on a budget? Get this free budgeting template!

Other states offer self-uniting marriage, too.

Here are some states that offer similar options, or just options that may be better for some more secular couples:

• Colorado also offers self-uniting marriages.
• UPDATE!  Thanks to a reader comment, we now know that Washington DC‘s laws changed in 2013 to allow self-uniting marriages.
• UPDATE! Thanks to a reader comment, we now know that Wisconsin offers self-uniting marriages in much the same way Pennsylvania does.  It was set up for specific religious purposes, but it is illegal to deny a couple a self-uniting license because of their religion.  Meaning that as it goes it PA, it goes it Wisconsin.
• UPDATE! Thanks to a reader’s efforts, California now has a precedent for performing non-Quaker non-clergy marriages. (AKA self-uniting marriages where you don’t have to be a Quaker.)
• Let’s say you don’t have a religious leader in your family.  In Massachusetts, anyone can become a Justice of the Peace for a day, specifically for the purposes of marrying a friend or family member.  (Or just anyone.)  The fee to apply is only $25, so most people would be saving money vs. a professional clergy member.  And you can get married by anyone that’s super close to  you.  Or just anyone  you want.

If you know of any other pretty cool state marriage laws pertaining to the officiating, let me know and I’ll add it to the list.

I don’t know why I thought finding a free template for place cards for the wedding would be a good idea.  

You’d think I’d have learned after the DIY invitation fiasco.  

But I didn’t.  

I spent way too much time online trying to find a decent template in the right colors that looked fancy enough for our trying-to-be-fancy-even-though-we’re-not wedding.

Eventually I got sick of it.

I decided to make my own.  

From start to finish I was done in ten minutes. It was so easy I don’t know why I didn’t think to do it before.

If you like the template I’ve got going on here, feel free to download it and use at will.  If not, you can check out tons of different color options in the Etsy shop.

Subscribe to Download the Blue Place Card Template for FREE!

Open up Microsoft Word.  

Select “Create a New Document,” and search for “Place Cards” in the template search.  

Select “Clouds design, fold-over style, 4 per page.”  

Open it.

Select the background.

Select the background on each of the four place cards and delete.  Under “TABLE TOOLS”  select the DESIGN tab.  Under that tab to the right you will see all the border options.  Click on the arrow in the drop down box that says “No Border.”  Select some type of dashed or dotted line border so you will know where to cut the cards.

Go to PicMonkey.  

PicMonkey is super-easy-to-use, online photo editing software.

I have a subscription for work, but you can use the free trial option to access it for free as you edit your wedding templates.

If you fall in love and need it in your life, you’ll save $12 off a regular subscription and $20 off a Pro subscription by signing up here.

Once you’re in, select “Create New” and then “Blank Canvas.”

Select “Background Color” under the “Edits” menu.

You will find this menu on the right-hand side of your screen.

Click on the pallette option on the left. There should be an option beneath the colors to click “Transparent.” Select it.

Go down to the Square, Circle, Triangle image on the left.  

These are your Graphics.  

Pick an appropriate graphic for the border surrounding the name on your place card.  

For our wedding, the best options were under the “Scrapbooky” category.  

Pick your overlay and put it on the big white box. Resize it to make it kind of big relative to that big white box.

Change your graphic’s color to match your theme.

You can change the color by having it selected, and then clicking on the color you want in the little pop-up box that shows up on the right side of the screen.  

Save your image.  You’re done with PicMonkey.

Return to the Word place card document.  

Go to the INSERT tab, and then click on Picture –you’ll find it towards the left.  

Select your PicMonkey image/design from the previous steps. Open and insert it.

Under “PICTURE TOOLS,” click on FORMAT.  

In the center right-ish, click on Position, and then click on More Options.  Go to the Text Wrapping tab, and select Behind Text.   Click OK.

Resize and move your image/border/design thing so that it’s lined up with the names in the center.  Remember, these cards will be folded in half.  

Now copy the image, and paste it in the other 3 place cards, centering as you go along.  The sizing should be identical across all the cards.

Edit your text.  

Adjust size and font to your liking. I preferred any font that had “Script” after it for this specific event.  

Edit the names to reflect who will be at your event, and print!

Cut. Fold. Done.

All that’s left to do is cut and fold your invites. I definitely used a paper cutter to help with this part of the process.

I hope your big day is absolutely beautiful! Congrats on doing it frugally without sacrificing quality!

Are you planning a bachelorette party? If you are the bride, or one of the crew, any girls’ night out is sure to be remembered for a while. The only thing that is missing are the accessories! No bachelorette’s party is complete without over-the-top decorations to let the world know how much fun you’re having. Here are a few accessories your bachelorette’s party needs.

Sashes

Sashes are a great way to celebrate the bride. Various colours and varieties are available that will showcase both the bride and her friends. The sky is the limit when it comes to decorating yourselves for a big night out. You can even personalise it further with specific details about the nuptials. If nothing else, every bride-to-be needs a sash.

Champagne glasses

Why not commemorate the event with detailed glasses engraved with the bride’s name? Companies like Personalised Favours offer a range of affordable champagne and wine glasses for the classiest of affairs. They can easily engrave a special message that all of the attendees will appreciate for years to come.

Shot glasses

If champagne and wine are not your thing, what about shot glasses? Shot glasses are easy to carry and make a great collector’s item. You can even find shot glasses with a chain attached for a hands-free look. Shot glass favours are sure to start the night off with a bang.

T-shirts

T-shirts are a classic way to remember any event. What better way than to keep track of the party than with matching shirts in bright pink? Unlike a sash, a t-shirt is an item that is likely to be used time and again even after the bachelorette party. T-shirts are for the more casual crew, but can still be mixed with the traditional flair.

Feather boas

A staple for any bachelorette party is the feather boa. Whether the boa belongs to only the bride, or to the girl having the most fun, feathers are a must have accessory for any pre-wedding celebration. Make it a round-robin where everyone has a chance to wear the boa during the night! The last one wearing it, wins.

Shiny tiaras

Every bride-to-be needs a shiny tiara on what might be her last big night out before becoming a wife. Hen’s night tiaras come in a wide array of styles, and who knows – the bride-to-be may want to wear it even after the night is over!

Pink tutus

Much like the feather boas, pink tutus are present at a large majority of bachelorette’s nights. As much as the tutu screams party, it is very much a personality choice for the bride herself. A lot of brides choose the tutu because when else do they get the chance? A bachelorette tutu is a great chance for the bride to be daring!

A bachelorette party is a night to do something different, not only for the bride, but for her friends as well. It is a night to simply have fun and celebrate. What better way than with a myriad of great accessories to top it all off? Shop smart, and you can score all of the above on any budget.

 

 

*This post, contributed by an outside writer, is made possible by Personalised Favours.*