At the beginning of the year, I was publishing a subscription newsletter that addressed hope in dark times, tackled from an array of different perspectives. While I got great feedback on it, I’ve since abandoned the project.

The thing is we’re still in anxiety-ridden times.

So I’m releasing this one edition of the newsletter here — one that actually has never been published before. I hope it’s helpful. A few people seemed to like the newsletter while it was around!

 

Like many of us, I’m someone who has been through some things in my life. I don’t always realize how much until I feel close enough to someone to share the depths of my reality.

When I do, those people who know me best tend to sit in awe. It’s an awe that makes me extremely uncomfortable. I get a lot of superlatives.

I’ve been told I’m a powerhouse. A force of nature. That they should make a movie about me, whoever “they” is.

I’m everyone’s favorite bootstrapping story. Over the years, people have tried to sell my story in my career as inspiration porn. I always cringe when it’s presented this way – or even when it’s presented at all.

Because the fact is, while the most consistent feedback I get about my writing is that it inspires hope, I do sometimes find myself sad and frustrated by the obstacles in front of me.

The Matrix

Such was the case one chilly, Appalachian morning as I stood in my kitchen, waiting on the drip-drip-drip of the coffee machine.

I was feeling pretty stuck. I always wanted to believe I could control my circumstances. Always wanted to believe in agency and its rewards.

I had made plenty of “right” moves. Made difficult decisions to improve my lot. I was no stranger to Sacrifice. I stood up every time I got knocked down.

And yet, bad things kept happening.

I found myself stuck in a matrix, predetermined by my circumstances within a larger system. Those circumstances had been determined by my prior experiences in life, which also felt wildly out of my own control. No matter how hard I tried to break free of the bonds of ‘bad’ and ‘worse’ options, life kept serving these and only these on a tin platter.

Would I ever break free? Was there respite somewhere in my destiny, or was I fated to struggle forever, no matter how much I bettered myself? No matter how much I tried to make the world a better place for the people around me?

If you’re thinking this sounds a lot like self-pity, you’d be right. It was the kind of emotion that’s so real it’s ugly, and yet I can’t deny that it sometimes exists inside of me as a fallible human being.

…and the Beauty

In my kitchen, there hung a calendar. It was the kind with personalized photos, like you get from Snapfish or Shutterfly. I’ve been ordering them for myself and my extended family every year since my children were born. Shopping the pre-Black Friday photo sales has become the harbinger of my holiday season.

As I was waiting for my caffeine fix, I meandered over to its place on the faux-oak cabinet. Uncrossed my arms, releasing the heat trapped in my sweatshirt. Started flipping through the pages.

With each turn of the month, I smiled.

To say the prior few years had been difficult would be an understatement. But in the midst of the suffering, there were at least 12 moments of beautiful joy.

That wasn’t the thing that brought me comfort, though. After all, 12 moments out of thousands isn’t an overly impressive ratio.

What I realized as I flipped those pages, as I turned through kid-inspired trips and outings with friends, was that each one of those moments happened because of me. As a human, but especially as a solo parent, it’s on me to turn each idea into a reality. It’s on me to plan and finance and drive — and even to snap pictures and order calendars that make people smile.

It hit me in that moment. That one glimmer of hope.

Yes, bad things happen to me. Repeatedly and seemingly without relief sometimes.

But despite all that, I make beautiful things happen in this world.

When Beauty Meets the Matrix

I think the same is true for many of us. While there are certainly circumstances of our own making, a lot of people living under our current systems can’t personal-responsibility themselves out of unrelenting troubles. They will follow us. We are, to a certain extent, stuck in this matrix.

And yet, within that matrix, we still hold the power to make beautiful things happen. I’m willing to bet that you do so far more often than you give yourself credit for.

Restructuring the entire matrix in our own lifetimes may be too much to hope for. We may always experience these same tangled webs.

But perhaps, if we all keep going with this beauty creating, we’ll eventually reach a generation where the matrix actually does look different. Where the suffering becomes healing, and the structures that held us back and limited our options won’t constrain those that come after us.

In the meantime, we can appreciate the beauty where it exists. We can take all that sadness and frustration and redirect it towards those little rays of hope. We can then use that hope to move us forward. To keep striving towards impossible things.

Get your photo calendar coupon code

I have a homework assignment for you. I want you to go through your photos from the past year. Find at least 12 pictures that make you smile. That bring you joy.

It doesn’t have to be from a family vacation or a day out with friends. Those aren’t the only ways to create beauty in this world. The simple act of observing a gorgeous flower or noticing a beautiful piece of art is an act of beauty in and of itself. You were, after all, the actor who made the decision to snap that photo. The image and memory exist because of you as an active participant in the world.

Take those 12 beautiful moments and plug them into your own personal matrix. Order them up in a photo calendar. Lest you worry about the costs of printing that personalized calendar, fear not. I’ve got you covered.

Through November 10, 2024, you can get 68% off your Snapfish photo calendar using code JNGLCAL799. That code will work through 11:59p PT. It brings the price down to $7.99, and will work on multiple calendars in a single cart.

Did you miss the sale? While this one has come and gone, Snapfish continues to run good deals on photo calendars throughout the holiday season. And regardless of when you’re reading this, you can find all the current Snapfish deals and promo codes here.

Once you’ve got your calendar, display it in your home or a place where you’ll regularly see it. And when you feel sad or frustrated, flip through its pages. Remind yourself that while the systems around you are the worst, while you may find yourself constantly struggling, you remain incredible. Because of your actions, this less-than-ideal matrix is a more beautiful place.

And I love you for it.